I've got FANS!!!

 I got one of my first compliments ever on my blog today from a reader who will remain anonymous:

"I'm feeling blog deprived."

-Katie F.

Well, she will remain at least slightly anonymous, ha ha. Anyway, things have been crazy since the proposal, so writing a blog has been difficult. But I had a little pep talk with myself and realized: "Lauren Birchfield doesn't rest. Lauren Birchfield doesn't take days off. Lauren Birchfield image knows no boundaries!" And it is because of this my dear friends that I will, NAY, must press on!!! 

Then the crowd cheers and we go and kill all those people like in Braveheart (actually I've never seen Braveheart but I heard it was anti-Semitic... I mean good).

Vegas was crazy gnar gnar this weekend. Jesse hooked us up at some crazy club, only to get denied by minutes, MINUTES I TELL YOU! And the fact that they were prejudice against my slip on Vans. I'm not bitter though, and we lived it up in our own club, as seen here by Girlfren', Club Fucking Blacksheep Bitch! Claire got up on a table, danced for a few minutes which was great, then Jesse did too so we got kicked out. Then I screamed "This is sexist!" and got punched in the face. Which is crazy because I was so drunk I meant to yell at Jesse "This is sexy!" Oh well...

Here is an amazing art piece we found while on our adventures in Vegas. Actually, it's the carpet at our hotel, but it looked amazing after a 56. Jesse coined the term 56, meaning a round of 7 and 7's. Four 7 & 7's.

Last but not least, we went out to Vegas originally to see Greg and Nikki Perrine as well as Taliban Tully. Unfortunately, we were all living our own dreams and couldn't be bothered to slow down and talk to each other. I was actually excited to see everyone having such a good time and not compromising anything. Chin everyone, chin!

Thomas VanMelum

PS here is a video of Jesse and I doing our best West Side Story gang dance on the way to the club.

Lyrics to Abandon Ship (Sharks and Mermaids) by Kool Keith and Hard Kiss For Jesse Pemstein

Jesse is the King

This isn't going to make sense to anybody, but there is a song my friend and I have been listening to since the days of MTV's Amp 1 & 2. That's not really a big deal. What is a big deal, is that nowhere on the internet can you find the lyrics to the song. I mean NOWHERE! Listen to the song and you will understand why. Jesse, you're welcome. Without further ado:

Kool Keith and Hardkiss : Abandon Ship

Yeah. Kool Keith and Hardkiss. V gauges off PM reading four two one seven decimal eight four two eight N two three. Red code five. Atlas seven seven seven. Ultimate delta beaming through. Fly afro livin’ with the bellbottoms jump and I got ‘em superlinguist faster master extreme remark necks, with sideburns like shaft pass the man. Go jump and ask the man. For autographs I’m thorough, let’s do the math warp speed in every borough. Come thorough ground complexion parked in the space section. Galactic nasty mean in the flying saucer underwater maximum enterprise. Jewish? People realize ray guns utlilize atmospheric, vocations spirits autobionic steel man. Robosonic industrial material reel-to-reel again aluminum foil made of steel again. Model six zero four three seven eleven eight nine model design. African metallic alloy. Atlas seven. Aluminum alloy. Atlas seven. Atlas seven. Aluminum alloy atlas seven. Organization illustrates psycho moving and texture chemical tactics will call for practice ability for centuries roll with the enemies altercational regional, subliminal helmets down focus on the time criminal. Zone western south of the hemisphere globab warrior captian when I order ya. U.S. ships navy catastrophes the government evidence cool with the president distance in motion. Soldiers by the ocean groove with emotion stick with the new wave. Arsenal daily computer atomics robot built to the X four to the modest. Sequence frenzy don’t never attempt me range , power ,driven. Terrible action you miss by a fraction thermonuclear hydraulic insomnia. We be bombin’ ya. Metro two thousand sacrifice and beams in our area. We bombed your area the force competitor Australian spies. Codes, modules, antique residue retro traction retro action computer refinement, the last design with. A two thousand stretch ‘em. Atlas atomic frequents with the MIDI through sequence turn up and amplify we search at altitude mass and oxygen open up the box again. Abondon ship, abondon ship, sharks and mermaids, sharks and mermaids abondon ship. Captain Newmackwa, come in Captain Newmackwa. Captian Newmackwa, come in Captain Newmackwa.

(Bass line bitches)

Commander of the sea vessel. Commander of the sea vessel

Told you Girlfren'. Oswald eats tennis balls.

permission to remote start controls edit the function service approach with torpedoes toasted analog gadgets. Plus two pounds of army warfare mid ships missiles cages of cables holds stable built acrylics, delivery, armory camouflages. Entourages of Vietnam, Scandinavian Aviation Service Intelligence Centers. Close in range metro six close for us of terrestrial elements images of distinctive unknown bones. Down the eastern shore, watch close down thirty five feet of deep current great whites and hammerhead sharks. We circle stones off the hip hop past the pacific coast down to the ‘stralian past the other human beings. Fortify us that move into underground quickly love scuba diving three hundred million feet below accurate analyzation formation grease on my body runs between my finger linger. Fingers linger above mystic seaweed. Jelly fish and octopus species. Probe incredibly continuous excitement little ring and harp. Dial within surpreme exterior establishment enchantment building my advancement. Excalibur level phenomenal regional A plus new attraction wavin’ on channel editorial imperial pages maximum services cruising like spaceships. Rampart from the start. United independent folds and speculation standby circumferences, innovation uniquely ambiguous corporals on the sea. Ships, bridge, begun atmosphere unconscious formal. Sounds become abnormal. Seventy seven RPM degress speed of light. This is the new way. Abondon ship, abondon ship, sharks and mermaids, sharks and mermaids abandon ship. Yeah. Hardkiss coming through. CP three oh eight. Two miles off Australia. Gauges read four two one seven decimal eight four two eight N two three red code one. Red code. Red code seven. Red code one four oh eight. Red code one four oh eight emergency systems react this is the new wave.