My Weekend @ Shmannel Shmislands

All I'm going to do here is show you a timeline / schedule. All of this is factual, no lies. You tell me if Lauren could keep up with this:

Friday
4:00pm: Arrive in Ventura for the showing of CHOHW
4:30pm: Launch boat for surf trip tomorrow
5:30pm: Eat dinner / have some drinks
5:31pm: Have some drinks
7:00pm: Show up to movie and sign autographs, shake hands, kiss babies
7:01pm: Have some drinks while kissing babies
8:00pm: Watch movie and scream the whole time
8:01pm: Have some drinks while screaming (it's tough to do)
9:00pm: Tell a joke into the mic in front of 500 people and have Keith Malloy take the mic away from you
9:30pm: Go back to the boat, talk for a little bit, visit the grocery store for food supplies, and tell Tim not to party too hard and get arrested
11:00pm: Bed time.


Saturday
4:00am: Wake up and start packing

5:00am: Figure out why the motor won't start. (Turns out the motor had a strict no starting before 5:00am rule). It eventually started, and we heading off to Shmannel Shmislands
6:20am: Arrive at Santa Cruz south shore and surf/bodysurf for 2 hours alone. There were no other boats.
7:30am: Get hit by surfboard in head, and bleed everywhere so the sharks can eat Tim.
9:30am: Eat a sandwich.
11:00am: Go surf for another 2 hours
1:00pm: Eat a sandwich and find a place to dive for dinner (Christian speared two fish for us).
3:00pm: Return to the surf spot and surf for another 45 minutes
3:45pm: Head home
5:00pm: Enter Ventura Harbor
6:30pm: Sit in the jacuzzi and start BBQing the fish
9:00pm: Visit bars that literally not one single person is in
11:00pm: Return to boat and play mandalin while falling asleep, sitting up

Sunday
6:00am: Wake up, pack up your shit, and get ready to head to Magic Mountain.
10:00am: Arrive at Magic Mountain and just fuck that place up until you gots to go.
10:00am to 4:30pm: Batman, Colossus, Scream, Green Lantern, Goliath, Viper, Tatsu, Riddler's Revenge, X2...booya grandma
4:30am: Tell Tim he isn't going to puke and start headin' home.
6:00am: Arrive home to your beautiful wife (guarantee you she'll never have one of those)

...Nailed it.

Thomas VanMelum