Bloggesborg

Well, I must admit we are those trendy wanna-be's that tries to visit all the new HOT SPOTS, and we went to one last night: True Foods. Check it out, it's healthy, tastes good, and there are prostitutes there - weird mix I know, but it works. Not only was the service amazing (wink wink, service, get it?) but I just felt hip being there. Be honest, deep down inside we all just want to be hip. Do people still use the word hip? Maybe I felt jive, or righteous, or boss. Nevertheless, I felt good.

I've included a lot of pictures in the post because I figure they are more fun than reading my writing. Plus, a picture's worth a 1000 words, so I am essentially streamlining Team Blacksheep...downsizing...in this economy...hard times...you've heard all the buzz phrases. 

Speaking of the phrase "In this economy...", let's Jerry Seinfeld this one (What is UP with THAT?!? in the Seinfeld voice). That's called Seinfelding it for all you jive-talkers reading this. Where are the boundaries to this phrase? I'll let you guys answer that one, because that's like asking "Does the pope shit in the woods?" It's a no brainer. So, does he? If you can't answer correctly you're retarded. There, now I feel better because I put someone else down.

 You ever read those "15 Ways To Save Money This Summer" type of articles? What the fuck? Those things are so dumb, they are really dumb, for real. And because I'm dumb, I'm going to do my own.

3 Ways to Save Money This Summer
1. Steal from the rich: More than likely they don't even need what you're stealing anyway, and they probably won't notice it is gone. Plus, if you use some of the money for good they will eventually make a cartoon about you where a fox plays you and a huge bear plays your sidekick, then Russell Crow will make a shitty remake of your life. Then the person you stole from will see the movie, love it, and tell their friends to see it because rich people love that stuff. Win win win.
2. Prostitute Your Child
Kids, it's time to make your way in this world, get to work. Kids are great salesmen, probably the best salesmen, so put them to work. They can sell shitty lemonade for a $1.00 to people who don't even want it, amazing. If you don't have kids, see rule #1.
3. Don't Do Reasonable Things
Don't shower, shave, drive, eat, go out, have sex, poop, have sex, eat, poop again, or anything related to these things. If there is one sure fire way to save money, it's by not doing anything. Mooch. Every friend has one. Be that friend. You won't have any friends, but you and scrooge mcduck will have something to talk about. A pool full of gold coins.

This post was way too long.

VanMelum