Haven't Seen Her Around Burger World Lately?

Please help my cousin Hanna, she is suffering from an epidemic in America today, she eats too much (and it's all gone to her face). She has recently started her new college experience...you've heard of freshman 15...shaw...in her face!!! So if any of you boys or girls (she's desperate) out there are interested in her leave a comment with your email address and I'll make sure it gets to her. Please don't send chocolates in heart shaped boxes, lord knows she doesn't need any more of those.

That shirt she is wearing actually said "love food" but I photoshopped the "food" out of it in an attempt to make her more appealling. Onward and upward.

It's time for...

If I were Incharge of this Salmonella Egg Thing...

If I were to put out a press release it would go like this:

Sticks and stones can actually break peoples' bones, but bad eggs will just make your ass burn.

Noticing a trend here? Ok...I will do a better one to the tune of Whitney Houston's "Greatest Love of All":

♪I believe that children are our future. Teach them well. Don't let them eat the eggs!!!♪

Make sure your get the phrasing and singing right or that last line isn't going to be that funny. Came home a couple nights ago and caught this homeless bum trying to steal Oswald. -->. Then I took him to dinner at El Matador in Costa Mesa, go there. I wanted to invite my cousin Hanna (mentioned earlier) but she would have put them out of business.

Idea Section:
I'm going to open up a restaurant in the vein of TGIF's for nyctophobiacs called: Thank God It's Day. If you don't know what nyctophobia is just click on the word; I linked the definition to it.

That's it. Wedge all weekend bitches. Come join us.