Plug it in and Turn me on!

You guessed it, this is going to be about the new Keith Malloy surf movie "Come Hell or High Water." Not only is it the 1st movie solely about bodysurfing, but it has some of the best in the sport doing what they do best, MAKING BABIES CRY from SHITTING THEIR PANTS because they've just seen MOZART take a piano, shape it into a wave, then FUCKING SLIDE DOWN THAT BITCH LIKE NEVER BEFORE SEEN, now DIKE OUT! Woo....thank god I got that out early in the blog post.

I have to get sentimental for a moment. The first memories I have of surfing period are from bodysurfing. My pops took me to the beach (Newport Pier to be specific) and showed me how to go straight in on a wave for as long as I could. You put your arms behind your back and you went until your belly, or Jewish nose for me, hit the sand. When I became a teenager I surfed all the time with Christian "The Ice-berg" Berg-hansen, but we ditched the boards often -- at the point -- to just bodysurf. No chicks, no glory, no future, just gay fun. In retrospect, I should have kept surfing, because clearly there are a lot more opportunities in that industry...bummer.

Anyway, here we are today. I love bodysurfing. My lifestyle, personality, and overall general attitude are much more aligned with those who bodysurf. These guys love to play grab ass more than an overly excited football player, and make gay jokes more than an overly excited bible thumper (and might I add under informed). Tonight, the movie will be amazing not just because it's about something I love (because I didn't get this excited when chipotle opened up on the peninsula and I LOVE CHIPOTLE!), but because I will get to see it with a group of people who love it just as much as me, if not more. It will be like seeing the Beebs  for the first time, and we are all horny young hormonal teenage girls. Rowdy? Yup. Respectful? Yup. Speedos? Well, you'll have to come to find out.

-VanMelum

PS If I may provide an addendum to Keith's tagline: "It's about taking a breath and kicking your feet in the big blue see [while using your dick as a rudder]."

Blogging is life!

Well talk about a party blowout! First off, I'd like to thank our neighbors for not calling the cops when the party spilled into the front yard at 11pm, where we proceeded to scream and shout while hitting multiple pinatas. Yes, we had more than one pinata. Secondly, I'd like to thank our neighbors for not calling the cops when we had a full blown (loud) dance party in the pool house (which, interestingly enough, we don't have a pool; we just have a room that resembles a pool house). Tertiary, I'd like to thank everyone for coming, it meant the world to Girlfren' and myself (it also meant the world to some of you too because you didn't ascend to Heaven like you were supposed to on account of the rapture).

If I had to peg one thing that stood out from the party for me, it was the fact that everyone was willing to let go and have a good time; swing for the fences on the pinata, dance like you're alone, and really commit to having fun. I truly think a lot of people are scared of stepping outside their comfort zone so here's my advice to you: When someone asks you to do something that makes you kind of uncomfortable, just do it -- you might find that it was worth while (you also might find that now you're naked in the desert with only your shoes, and your butt hurts...but that's rare...they usually take your shoes too).Ultimately everyone made some new friends, we lost a few friends (seriously we couldn't find a few people who we know came to the party), and fun was had by all.

And if that weren't enough, we had the first swell of the season for wedge and Girlfren' had her bridal shower. As the Never Ending Story narrator would say, "But that, is a different story."


But if you don't want it to be a different story, and you are really into bodysurfing, here is a link to the video somebody shot of a couple few good bodysurfing waves over the weekend. Enjoy, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v
=8dai7p48JqA
Thomas VanMelum

I want to go to Hawaii -- Yay!

Yes, Hawaii would be a gay time! Girlfren' and I are doing it Peter, we're doing it! I am competing in the Pipeline Bodysurfing Competition this year, and it gives us a great excuse to go to Hawaii for 10 days. This marks the first true vacation I've ever taken as an adult. Sad, I know...I'm a late bloomer...except for my facial hair.

Does anyone ever think about how stupid the news is? My pops said a great thing the other day,

I skip articles about murder, terrorism, and the middle east. It makes reading the newspaper go much faster.

 I know it's funny, but the point is that it's also very true.

This is me rockin' it at a convention for Don't Worry Be Happy (DWBH). Dancing in public doesn't make me nervous, but I admit, it is a lot easier to do when you have a costume on so nobody can see your face. To be honest, I think I was doing more harm than good, but hey I was having fun, and who believes in altruism these days anyway.

Vlog Test...123

So the reason this is significant:
1) It's dark outside, and I am going bodysurfing in 12 foot waves by myself.
2) I work at 9am, so I got to still do a full work day
3) IT TOTALLY FUCKIN' WORKED!!! In at work like nothing ever happened.

So you might ask... "How early did you have to wake up to do this?" Well, the answer is 4:00am. However, it's not really that hard to wake up that early when Girlfren' is already up and getting ready for work [as seen in this picture]. I've always wanted to be 60 and talking with my friends and have them say ask how I accomplished so much random stuff, and of course answer "I just sleep less."

Enough...let's talk about something else. Like the fact that Lambert (my prius) is a fucking champ. Or the fact that my job fucking rocks. Or the fact that I have the best Girlfren' in the world. Or that my butt has been itchy for the past 3 days and I'm too embarrassed to scratch it! Yeah, I'm pumped on life. And today, I'm going to scratch my butt!

Rape Whistles meets Booba Foopa hello Spiderfang

Mike is Hip, that's why he eats at this place

"Ratty" Mike Radford heading to the chow down factory after a great sesh at the Boom Boom Room. This breakfast nook sold over 80,000 scones last year. How do I know that? Because they told me about 20 times. It was like talking to a proud parent.

Switching gears (vroooom). Let me be the first to say that the Boom Boom Room can be bodysurfed in the complete dark. I woke up at 3:30 am, got there right before 6:00 am and was doing back flips in the surf no problem in the dark.

    I

This may have been a great idea if it were within
3 years of the invention of the phone. But now?
Seriously?

If you're wondering why I named this post the way I did, it's because I just discovered that you can add words to urban dictionary. I am hoping they accept Booba Fupa. Don't know what it is? Look it up: Booba fupa.

Over the weekend Girlfrien' and I pushed Lazy Sunday to the MAX (no not the cool hangout spot from Saved by the Bell, we wish). But other than that, we managed to progress Team Blacksheep with the bimonthly car wash get together. I think everyone should get together two Sundays monthly and wash their cars; it would be fun, productive, and would help make it so the terrorists don't win. Can't say no to that right?

Right.

Thomas vs. The Man

I am in a full fledged war with the man. I am seriously going to knock my own head off just so I can beat him to the punch. Wedge was fun. Your mom. Weekend was nice. Your mom. I love talking to people. Your mom. Inbetween the sheets. Any of this working for anyone?
I am so beat down from the inanimate objects that make up my "cubicle" I can't think of one funny thing to say. Man boobs. Those are funny. What if a woman had man boobs? Is that a put down? Can it be a put down? I'm making it one.

I'm also making this a put down "You're so fat you sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out."

That is a picture of Sean and I at wedge. We had a gay photoshoot, but we were paid a lot for it. Sean rips. Come to think of it, everyone rips in their own way, just some are more fun to talk to about it while others just get annoying.

I love life. I hate work.

VanMelum