There I lay, torn battered and beaten. A seething beast had just tried to snuff me. I realized I was no match for his endless ferociousness, his vigor, his sharp pointy fangs. But this realization came too late! I was knee deep in shit (and worried that an open wound in shit would undoubtedly get infected) and had to find a way to overcome this beast; to tame it. I called to him:
"Have you had enough? I've seen bigger claws at an inner city nail salon! Come at me..."
This enraged the beast. His hair stood on it's end and he lunged at me with the force of 1000 fairies (fairies are actually quite strong, contrary to popular belief -- watch Hook the movie and you will see, we need to break down these walls that have been holding fairies down for years [the walls of course are not literal walls that have been holding fairies down, because I have just proved that fairies could move an actual wall -- they are being held down by figurative walls you see]).
BACK TO THE STORY...
I was able to deflect his advance, but it would only postpone the inevitable. I had to think fast. I had to summon the courage of 1000 fairies (see it's working) to live to see another day.
The beast growled, saliva gooing from his mouth. I stood tall -- I filled my lungs with air -- I looked straight at the best. I knew what I had to do. He compressed and came at me like a bolt of lightening...this was it!
So I bopped him on the nose and said, "No Oswald. Get outside."
And that was it. Just one little scratch. The End.
By: Thomas VanMelum
I read this thinking it was about the tattoo and in turn was confused/very intrigued till the end. I thought, "is he getting attacked by an ink gun wielding shark?? This is crazy! I hope he lives!". Finally, I read the last line and see the cut which brings it fruition. It was a good story but personally it was a great story due to the confusion, fairies and early 90's movie references.
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